Thievery

Yesterday, Mom took me to see her chiropractor about getting some really cool orthotics for my jacked feet. As we were pulling into the parking lot, I noticed that there were a couple of heaps of tree parts. The storm that took out my precious computer must have also torn a couple of really huge branches out of the ancient oak.

With the felled branches on our minds, we went in for my mom's appointment and for an evaluation of my feet. The chiropractor told me that my feet were unlike anything she'd seen before. By the way, it's never good news when a professional says something like that, and she calls her assistant in to have a look. No wonder I've got such huge peroneals; my arches have pretty much given up all strength. What a great time to be without any insurance.

So anyways... we were at the receptionist's window ready to leave when I finally asked about the wood piles outside. She told us we could have it if we wanted, and we made plans to come back.

After boxing class got out, I drove back to the chiropractor's place to start putting the wood in the back of the ELIMINATOR (my truck). Mom was supposed to come help with the heavier pieces, but she ended up coming late. So late, in fact, that I had nearly gathered all the firewood there was to be had. Let me just say that I was doing this at 8:30pm; it was dark outside. The only light with which I could see what I was doing was a single light bulb on a post at the end of the parking lot. A very weak light bulb, at that.

Someone must not have liked the fact that I was lifting 1,000 lbs of wood on a dark night, because then the light bulb went out. It was probably a motion-sensor type deal, but it still seemed like someone was watching me sweating away in the night as I threw log after log into the truck bed. When Mom finally arrived, I must have been a sight: girl stealing wood in the dead of night. She turned on her brights and pulled out my ax from the passenger side. That was when all joking was pushed aside.

I started whalin' on some pieces that weren't cut all the way through. Wood chunks were flying everywhere. I must say, I felt pretty cool. I felt like a lumberjackie.

That's when I looked over as a guy was taking his trash out. We made eye contact for a brief second or two, but I think he got the picture. He got back in that office in a hot second as I continued to weld my ax like the Amazons do. I felt like all we really needed were some ski masks to complete the feel of two crazed women taking out their aggression on dead wood during the dark hours.

All in all, we came out of that parking lot with enough firewood to last us a whole month. Now all I have to do is get the chainsaw running to take care of the long pieces and sharpen my ax for some splitting. Man, it feels good to be a mountain woman in training.